Gay Deceivers

by Highly Sensitive Person

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released September 1, 2016



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Highly Sensitive Person Orlando, Florida

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Track Name: McDonald's
the hills
and the mountains
they move at a speed
of an inch per century
theyre moving at any rate

the hills
and the mountains
they twist, they shake
they flex, they bend
but never break

at least theyre shifting at any rate
Track Name: Christmas Party
why are you being so mean
its just a sticker (flicker) on the screen

why are you being so mean
its just a sticker on the window of the van

its just my room
kids can be messy
when you gave us our food, we said it was really good
and you walked away

and you walked away

Track Name: Burned Myself
i touched the stove and burned myself
i touched it more and more and
more and more and more and more
i touched it not because i dont think its hots
but i touched it because im not afraid of the heat anymore
Track Name: I Know Not
i wanna burn consensual reality* to the ground
scream and shout and jump up and down alot
but i cant

because the pain i would inflict on those i dont know i love
would be so profound

i implode in on myself again
i will not drag anyone with me to hell, again
you have promise and strength, discipline and good health
and i know not of these things

*dumb term that i think i made up but mightve stolen subconsciously that refers to the reality that those who dont know me project onto me
Track Name: Beginning Of My Life
roll down the window real quick
were gonna make damn sure they know just how we feel about it
tie the flag to the spoiler and tear ass
raise our fists at the soldiers as we drive past

theyre cooked* and they know it
theyre just biding time
slit their throats in their sleep
burn their bodies in the square

here comes the beginning of my life

*i didnt know the proper meaning of this word until it was on tape
Track Name: In Flagstaff
midnight to midnight
line to line
citgo to waffle house to citgo again
two hours to rewind

mack tracks and freightliners
convoy to the right
county after county of shit (self) care
has impaired my sense of sight

when i get this tired, i dont know why
all i wanna do is scream and cry

i wanna show you the 10ft american flag
outside of the ford dealership
heading into flagstaff

and youll sit in the middle seat
with your blue jacketed arm pressing up against me
and ill feel your soft breath on the nape of my neck
as you lean over to see

when i get this tired, i cant explain why
all i wanna do is (crawl into a ball and diiiiieeeee
as the bible promised)

and the volume on the radio was down
the first time that i ever unwound
and experienced sensory processing


in a thawing town
Track Name: You Pimped My Ride
you pimed my ride
and it was beautiful, chrome tailpipes
and LCD screens on the bumpers
and bright orange paint outside

but i found out its a lie
when i popped the hood
and looked inside

but found nothing

but the same old engine, same v8
same transmission, same block, just more weight
that consequently makes the car hard to drive
Track Name: Baboon
im a baboon so where are all the people
Track Name: Boys In Skirts
i wore a skirt to school
and it kinda felt nice
you told me youd be devastated
if i turned out right

i skipped to my car for two weeks
my friends promptly stopped talking to me


im not throwing a tantrum
i wanted an answer
then i wanted everyone
to turn around and walk away

Track Name: Take Pictures
trying to find a way to say:
"i dont miss you"
that doesnt make me feel like shit

like shit

shutting you out and hiding
is the only way i know how to deal with it

and i know i know i know
ill never not care about you
the things you think about me
or the time when you stopped believing in me

im going in my car
to drive around and take pictures
without you

half the reason i do it
is not because i like
but because i need to do it all the time
Track Name: In Tijuana
the day you got in your car and drove away
we heard cheap trick on the stores PA
can you guess which song they were playing

down in tijuana
they played the only cheap trick song youd know
in tijuana
in tijuana that day

i was not prepared to see my landlord cry
or have to tell him it was gonna be alright
i dont care much what you were feeling

cos i was in tijuana
the locals left me beaten in the streets
of tijuana
of tijuana that day

we didnt kno what to do
other than


i dont know if i will ever give a shit
or at least as much as i originally did
back when all we knew to do
was run away from you

and into tijuana
the toxic smog ascended from the bay
of tijuana
of tijuana that day

**this song is apparently not about domestic issues but being in-your-feelings about your parents being cooler than you. i didnt know this when i recorded
Track Name: OK
hug eachother and say goodbye
but dont look into eachothers eyes
youll feel worse about our losing traction
of the interstates cliffslide

pray that we see eachother
in some other life
because were not maknig it out of this

and thats ok

feel the panic as the gravity shifts
grab the sides of your seat
this is not a dream
this is your reality

and thats ok

[me screaming]

[jose gonzalez]